On Routine.

Hello my friends,

How are you? I feel like I have to ask because it has been a moment since I've written publicly on this blog. And if we were having an actual conversation, I'd hope that the answer is "I'm good." or even "I'm doing great!". Wherever you are in the world right now, I hope that you are having a beautiful day. As for me, I have the day off and I am basking in the glory of pure, unadulterated, rest and relaxation.

I recently moved back to Paris, and I am absolutely delighted at the fact that I can even write that phrase. Back in August of last year, I wasn't really sure when or even if I would be back. But by the grace of patience, persistence, and a bit of luck, I have found my way back to the city that makes me feel whole.

As I am inching back into the routine of experiencing all the regular musings that Paris has to offer, I have finally taken a moment to sit down and write down some thoughts that have been on my mind lately.

I recently started a full-time job, helping young French people get visas to intern and work in the US. The job aligns perfectly with my values and my desire to help people experience cultures outside of their own. It is challenging, rewarding, and lovely thanks to my kind and welcoming coworkers. I am able to use my French every day, interact with others, and truly help contribute to an industry that I believe is necessary to make the world a better, kinder place.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about rebuilding a routine here, and why routine is an unnecessary yet so necessary evil. In my experience, I am constantly wavering between discipline and pleasure in my routine, and maybe it is just the unholy truth of being a fully functioning adult with a full-time job. What is the purpose of routine and why is it good? But an even more interesting question I'd like to ask is, why is it bad?

I've done my fair share of content consumption, and at times I have fallen deep into the cycle of consuming content that tells me how I need to live my day to day. Unfortunately, sometimes these consumption cycles make me question myself: Am I doing enough?

Now this could just be the rampant perfectionist voice in my head saying this, but sometimes it feels true. Even today, a day that is meant for rest and enjoyment, I couldn't help myself but feel like, maybe I need to make more of this day. The truth is, the word "Enough" is the most relative word. As I am writing this, I am even thinking to myself, how silly is it, that we measure ourselves and our ability to be "enough". As a recently born-again adult, moving out of my parent's home only a mere month ago, I feel suddenly pressured to create a routine that jam-packs every waking moment I have with stuff. Whether that be work, activities, side projects etc. I have come to the stark realization that the question shouldn't be "is this enough" but rather the question should be "is this too much?". At what point does the quantity of experiences dilute the quality of experiences?

I regard this question as a highly privileged one, and one that I am grateful to even ask. Maybe it is the over-encompassing move and the fast-paced-ness of city life catching up to me once again, but I am beginning to ask myself this more often than not.

Last weekend, I picnicked in the Luxembourg Gardens with one of my best friends and her boyfriend and I thought to myself, "Why does this just feel so DAMN good?". In all reality, I spent about 3 hours, running around before, going to the grocery store, making and preparing the perfect *chef's kiss* salad, and packing it all up for us to enjoy. It was quite tedious, but in my heart, I knew it was exactly what I wanted. We proceeded to sit, talk and giggle for a few hours, and I left feeling so content. "This is my happiness." I thought.

So what does this experience have to do with routine? Well for starters, it has to do with slowing down. I think that routine is in fact not the enemy, but how we perceive that routine. I think that the basis of routine is vital to our well-being and health. It allows for a sense of security and balance in order for us to waver from said routine. Most of us can't or simply aren't at a place in our lives where we can unplug from our 9-5 jobs, and I think that this is where routine must be embraced, with full intention and care. I am trying to figure out right now, how can I be more present in my routine, but at the same time, not feel guilty when I am expanding outside of said routine i.e. taking 3 hours to grocery shop and make a salad haha. In this video diary about Jedidah Jenkins (one of my favorite writers), he talks a lot about how we perceive time and why routine is somewhat evil and the shaking up of that routine, is actually vital for us as humans. I know that for me by the age of 80, I in no way want to feel like my life flashed before my eyes. After watching this video, I am of course not just going to say, "F*ck it, let's ditch the 9-5 and get on a bike to travel across the world" but it has made me think more about the intentionally and the quality of experiences I am having, even within the constraint of a routine. I believe that a rich life is one full of thoughtful, calculated, quality experiences, but at the same time, a life of quality experiences must have a healthy foundation.

In summary, I am not in favor or against routine, but as of late, I am thinking more and more about what is the right balance of a strong routine and what are the drawbacks. How s my identity wrapped up in my routine, and in which ways is it holding me back from new experiences? Or even vice versa, how is my lack of routine, keeping me from feeling like I have the bandwidth to expand from said routine?

I hope these thoughts made you think a bit as well and I'd like to know, what are some of your favorite parts of your routine, and when were times in your life when you didn't enjoy or felt like your routine became mundane in your life, in some ways, making your life feel like it was passing you by?

As always, lots of love from

my corner of the world and the internet, and I'll write soon. :)

Bisous,

Kristin